ez-neighborhood - Beware of this "free" opportunity

If it's free, it's too good to be true? That's what I've heard, and that's what I tend to believe. In this case, I CERTAINLY believe it. These "ez-neighborhood" guys are bragging that their "neighborhood" websites are FREE.

But their definition of free is a definition I've never seen before. Their definition of free is: If you can sell enough advertising to pay a $398 set up fee and a $50 per month recurring fee, you've made your site free.

I've checked a variety of definitions of the word "free" and none of them seem to include an item that you pay $400 for!

What they don't tell you is that advertisers who want to spend advertising money on a silly website that has no page rank, and no traffic, is a pretty small list. And any advertiser who has so little business sense that they want to do that isn't long for this world, which means you'll be back to paying your $50 per month.

Anyway, here are a couple of pieces of spam from this e-neighborhood group.

Free Websites that Produce Results!!

Everyone wants one, but how do you make it a reality?

Our neighborhood websites are a great niche marketing tool that can be free, and provide positive cash flow for you. If you farm a neighborhood or community you NEED one of our neighborhood websites. Neighbors love the sites, Realtors love them, and the key is that advertisers love them. With our site there is no limit to the number of advertisers you can have, so there is no limit to the income you can produce.

This is how you make your neighborhood website free, and have your website pay for your marketing efforts within the farming area of your choice. A typical advertiser will pay you a set-up fee of $199 and an ongoing monthly fee of $25 per month (or whatever fees you want to charge). By securing only 2 sponsors, you have created a free website for yourself. If you secure more than 2 sponsors, you have additional funds to spend on postcards or other marketing materials for your farm area.

Now the big question is… How do you find at least two sponsors? We have several ideas for you. The easiest method is to look at your current vendor list. As a Realtor, you work with mortgage lenders, title companies, home inspectors, insurance agents, handyman companies, roofers, painters, landscapers, and others that are involved in the sale of a home. It is very common for them to advertise in magazines, the newspaper, create flyers at sales meetings, etc. So they are already advertising, it just depends on where they are advertising.

By offering them a niche marketing program that targets a specific area, they can concentrate their efforts on the areas that they specialize in. With your interactive neighborhood website, they can advertise and bring in clients and referrals in an area that they desire. – Targeted neighborhood marketing at its best!

Do you know a mortgage lender that can advertise $25 per month? How about a home inspector, a title company, a roofer or a painter? You don’t have to limit yourself to real estate companies… How about businesses that service the neighborhood? Think about local restaurants, dry cleaners, beauty salons, insurance agents, grocery stores, etc. For only $25/mo the people that can advertise on your website is endless and potentially very profitable for you.

Print Advertising is DEAD!
(but you already knew that...)

Tom Feltenstein, author of A Shortcut To Extraordinary Profits Using Neighborhood Marketing, demonstrates why “Mass Media Advertising is Dead”. The key to being successful in today’s volatile market is to master neighborhood marketing. How many calls do you get from your magazine and newspaper ads? If you are like most others in the country - The answer is "Zero" or "not enough". During tough times it is time to be focused and profitable.

EZ Neighborhood Websites offers a complete neighborhood marketing system that is easy to use and costs less than mailing postcards. Click Here for our sales website or read on for more info.

Our sites get used by the residents, when others are seen once and never visited again. Why do residents and Realtors love our website? Because it is easy, flexible and offers value to everyone that uses the site.

Neighborhood Websites Work!

Residents love the site because it offers them relevant information about the neighborhood. All areas are easily updated such as the real estate info, community calendars, recipes, discount coupons, local shopping info, etc. The best part is the websites do not look like a cookie cutter website. You can make the site look and feel like the community. If you are in New York, add pictures of Manhattan to make the home page feel like the area. If you are in San Francisco – add Bay Bridge pictures and info. These easy to use features make the site “feel” like a neighborhood website, not some "starched" mass produced site. This homey feel helps residents become comfortable with the site and then they use it.

Free Websites!

Tight on money? Realtors can make their neighborhood website free with a little networking. Our sites offer sponsorship opportunities for local businesses and we provide you with a marketing plan to implement this strategy. Click Here for more details.

Exclusive Territories!

All areas are sold on a first come, first served basis. Remember, as the Internet continues to grow it is not a question of whether the neighborhood you farm will have a neighborhood website... It is a question of who will be benefiting from the website. Be the Neighborhood Buzz... Call ***-***-**** today to lock out the competition and secure your area.

Thanks for your time and interest. Please don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or need additonal information.

You email has been taken from open sources. This is message not spam.

Sorry, I haven't posted any new spam information here in awhile. Thing is, spammers are predictably predictable these days; there aren't any new scams out there...just the same tired old Nigerian foolishness, and I haven't felt like writing about any of them.

But today I got one that made me laugh, so I thought I'd share the laugh. It was actually just the title that made me laugh:

You email has been taken from open sources. This is message not spam.

That was the subject line. Yep. Apparently these people have no idea that spam is unsolicited email. I'm not sure what they think spam is.

The only thing that would be funnier is:

This message has no fat or protein content. This message is not spam.

Anyway, just for the sake of completeness, here's the email, which is your typical "We're from a foreign country and we're trying to find someone to work for us in moving money around."

Yeah. Right. When I go to the laundromat, it's clothes I launder. Nothing else.

Hello. My name is Ella Pelsh. I work in company E-exchange Norway. We search considerable, clever, and the operative person for work with our company.

We need to find the person for delivery to us of electronic currencies, such as e-gold, e-bullion, evocash, and still other currencies.

If you to have interest in it write to my email: ellapelsh@gmail.com

we shall contact you within 24 hours after you write to us on email. We shall send you all details of the transaction, and we shall write all trifles and conditions, have successful day.

Have good day Ella.

Let Me Know (Another Scam)

This is a lengthy one, and I didn't bother reading the whole thing - after awhile you know what's coming even before you get through the first paragraph. I love the "please don't betray my confidence" lines - after all, when you consider that the SCAMMER is the one who plans to betray YOU...

Don't reply to this. Delete it.

Good day,

I am Michael Leyden,a staff of Private Banking Services at the Bank of China (BOC) United Kingdom. I am contacting you concerning our customer and, an investment placed under our banks management 4 years ago.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contacted you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.

In 2002, the subject matter; ref: bb/boc/bank/0012 came to our bank to engage in business discussions with our Private Banking Services Department. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 8.35 million United States Dollars, which he wished to have us turn over (invest) on his behalf.

I was the officer assigned to his case; I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer of the Private Banking Services Department, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank. We met on numerous occasions prior to any investments being placed. I encouraged him to consider various growth funds with prime ratings. The favored route in my advice to customers is to start by assessing data on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managers and 2000 managers of alternative investments. Based on my advice, we spun the money around various opportunities and made attractive margins for our first months of operation, the accrued profit and interest stood at this point at over 10 million United States Dollars, this margin was not the full potential of the fund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investments. In mid 2004, he asked that the money be liquidated because he needed to make an urgent investment requiring cash payments in Europe. He directed that I liquidate the funds and had it deposited with a firm. I informed him that the bank would have to make special arrangements to have this done and in order not to circumvent due process, the bank would have to make a 9.5 % deduction from the funds to cater for banking and statutory charges. He complained about the charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task he was asking of us. Cash movement across borders has become especially strict since the incidents of 9/11. I contacted my affiliate in and had the funds available. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the funds deposited in a security consultancy firm, the firm is a specialist private firm that accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chip corporations that handle valuable products or undertake transactions that need immediate access to cash. This small and highly private organization is familiar especially to the highly placed and well-connected organizations. In line with instructions, the money was deposited . He told me he wanted the money there in anticipation of his arrival from Norway later that week. This was the last communication we had, this transpired around 9th October, 2004.

In January last year, we got a call from the security firm informing us that the inactivity of that particular portfolio. This was an astounding position as far as I was concerned, given the fact that I managed the private banking sector I was the only one who knew about the deposit , and I could not understand why he had not come forward to claim his deposit. I made futile efforts to locate him I immediately passed the task of locating him to the internal investigations department of the bank of china. Four days later, information started to trickle in, apparently he was dead. A person who suited his description was declared dead of a heart attack in Canne, South of France. We were soon enough able to identify the body and cause of death was confirmed. The bank immediately launched an investigation into possible surviving next of kin to alert about the situation and also to come forward to claim his estate. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels of detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed no next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with us means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous. This bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case; he died intestate.

In line with our internal processes for account holders who have passed away, we instituted our own investigations in good faith to determine who should have right to claim the estate. This investigation has for the past months been unfruitful. We have scanned every continent and used our private investigation affiliate companies to get to the root of the problem. The investigation did not ever yield any result My official capacity dictates that I am the only party to supervise the investigation and the only party to receive the results of the investigation. This leaves me as the only person with the full picture of what the prevailing situation is in relation to the deposit and the late beneficiary of the deposit. According to practice, the firm will by the end of this financial year broadcast a request for statements of claim to BOC, failing to receive viable claims they will most probably revert the deposit back to BOC. This will result in the money entering the BOC accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the Private Banking Services Department. This will not happen if I have my way.

What I wish to relate to you will smack of unethical practice but I want you to understand something. It is only an outsider to the banking world who finds the internal politics of the banking world aberrational. The world of private banking especially is fraught with huge rewards for those who occupy certain offices and oversee certain portfolios. You should have begun by now to put together the general direction of what I propose. There is US$ 8,370,000.00 deposited , I alone have the deposit details and they will release the deposit to no one unless I instruct them to do so. I alone know of the existence of this deposit for as far as BOC is concerned, the transaction with our deceased customer concluded when I sent the funds to the firm, all outstanding interactions in relation to the file are just customer services and due process. They are simply awaiting instructions to release the deposit to any party that comes forward. This is the situation. This bank has spent great amounts of money trying to track this man's family; they have investigated for months and have found no family. The investigation has come to an end.

My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to give instruction for the release of the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you in half. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50.

I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to the customer I will then officially communicate with firm and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these two things: all is done. The alternative would be for us to have firm direct the funds to another bank with you as account holder. This way there will be no need for you to think of receiving the money from the firm. We can fine-tune this based on our interactions.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like myself who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones' way once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing.

If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through this same email account. If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my official email account. Contact me only through through this email address. I do not want any direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy. Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man; I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, send me your response on this email immediately to enable us commence this line of discussion.

I await your response.

Michael Leyden.

anti-spammers are lamers

I haven't updated this blog in a couple weeks - partly because I've been busy, and partly because the spammers/scammers haven't come up with anything new and original.

But yesterday something ended up in my spam folder that made me laugh. I'm glad I saw it, because I almost missed it altogether, which would have cost me a good chuckle. Here it is, for your entertainment. The subject of the email was:

anti-spammers are lamers

subj

regards, spammer.

Oooooh! Be still my heart! I have been called a "lamer" by a spammer. I don't know if I shall ever overcome the grief of this tragedy.

Wait...

Okay, I'm over it now! :)

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