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Vengeance is mine?

In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter came to Jesus and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus' response was a bit alarming, and difficult for any of us to implement. " I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."


So what does this mean? After 490 spams, it's time to get even? No, of course not! The point was, we keep forgiving, and don't keep track! Therefore, we don't recommend that you do any of the things listed on this page, although I have known people who have gone off the deep end, and done one of the following, after the 490th unsolicited email. (I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations that I have undertaken any of these vengeful actions!)

Tell A Friend

There are websites out there (and I'm sure I don't know where they are) that specialize in 'telling friends' about special offers on the web. So if you found one of those sites (maybe by typing 'tell a friend' in a search engine), you could sign the spammer up for up to a hundred mailing lists, in just a couple short minutes. If you find one that allows you to send a message to the 'friend', you can always send them a brief explanation that you've signed them up for a multitude of mailing lists, because they like spam so much!

Call Toll Free

Most businesses which are dumb enough (or newbie enough) to market by spam, don't have a toll free telephone number. If they do, call them up and spend several minutes asking them questions about their company and their products. After a few minutes, when you've decided that you're bored, or that you can't keep them on the line much longer, explain that you received an unsolicited email from them, and want to be removed from their mailing list. They, of course, will ask what your email address is. Now here comes the important part! Refuse to tell them your email address. Explain instead that you're sick of companies sending email to people who haven't asked for it. Therefore, you are requesting that they remove all such email addresses from their mailing list, not just yours. Explain to them that if you continue to receive emails from them, they will be in direct violation of Federal Trade Commission Mandate 4083(b). When they ask what that mandate is, laugh maniacally and hang up.

Five minutes later, disguise your voice and do it again!

Filling Out Webforms

Often spammers will direct you to a website where you can fill out a webform, requesting more information. Typically, these forms will ask for email address, telephone number, address, etc.

You could sit there in front of your computer filling out the web form over and over again, using made up information. This will accomplish one of two things: either it will fill up an online database with garbage information, or even better it will generate an email for each form!

Can't you picture it? The poor desperate spammer (and believe me...any business which resorts to spamming is seriously deperate) is sitting in front of his computer, anxiously awaiting the first clue (and believe me...anyone who resorts to spamming seriously needs to get a clue!) that his spam has paid off. The 'you've got mail' sound goes off, and he eagerly looks to see what it is! Oh yes! Oh joy! A customer! Yay! So he tries to send you an email. Returned. So he tries to call you. He either gets a wrong number, or no answer at all. Now, since he's a spammer, he's probably dumb enough to try to send mail to the address you specified, too! (Okay, even spammers aren't that dumb, but you never know!)

Automated web form fillers

And, of course, if you have any software development expertise, you could always write a little program that randomly generates names, telephone numbers, addresses, email addresses, etc. And fills them into the form for you.

Why? Because you can set it running, and go get yourself a cup of coffee while it does the work for you. When you come back, refreshed and relaxed, ten minutes later, your program has (at a rate of 1 webform every 2 seconds) Generated 300 'potential sales' contacts for the spammer.

Ah...doesn't it feel good?

Disclaimer

We highly discourage people from undertaking such immature and irresponsible behaviors as those listed on this page. Really. Let's show a little bit of maturity here, shall we?